Who is this tool for?
(And a brief overview of what happens when you search for a snowboard)
TLDR: If you don't have a great local shop or you are not a snowboard scholar, you have come to the Right Place
Let us start with who is this not for.
1) If you have access to a reputable, well-stocked local shop with knowledgeable salespeople, there is not much for you to do here. There is nothing better than supporting your small local businesses and the community - they will also likely give you much more tailored advice.
2) You are a snowboard nerd - you have read all the reddit posts and snowboardingforum discussions. You have scavenged for information through all of the product pages and you have watched a 30 min video on the impact of board length. You know what you want and you are just here to confirm your choice, some of the information may even be too basic for you.
If you don't fall in the above two groups here are some typical situations that you may run into:
The Web Store
You type "buy snowboard online" in Google and without surprise end up at one of the big online stores. You start browsing, apply some carefully-thought filters, and 10min in, you are properly confused.
Each board is a "great all-rounder ", they are all suited "to beginners and pros alike ", "playful but stable ", "fast but good turner ", "ultimate freestyle machine ", but somehow also "great float in powder".
Everything seems good at everything but somehow not great at anything. You are lost in all the marketing hype and variety of alternatives. You fill out a quick "Find my Board" form on the website and get 5 boards thrown at you but you don't why - it is just another glorified search filter.
Somehow you choose a board, but you are left to wonder if this was the right choice for you.
The Shop
You go to the closest store. It is Christmas/the day of the first large snow/ any other busy day because you didn't think to go in the middle of July. The homie at the store is properly overwhelmed, you are trying to tell him your life story but he is too busy keeping the store from burning down.
You come back the other day but it is the new guy and he just tells you to buy Libtech Orca, Burton Custom, Capita DOA, or whatever else is selling best at the moment. They might be a) pushing whatever there is in stock, b) a good-intended fanboy/fangirl with their own biases, c) does not know any better, or d) all of the above.
You may get lucky at get some getting that is getting the job done, maybe one size too big/small, you may overpay a bit for something you don't really need, or may end up like my buddy, with a Never Summer Proto Synthesis full-blown freestyle trick board when he went looking for a freeride board, never having jumped in his life before
Your Shredder Budy
Your homie has been riding since he was 7. You can put him on a piece of plywood and he will still rip. He is cool but has forgotten what is like to be a beginner. He may throw something like 'If you learn to ride with a tough board, then everything else will be easy' but in fact, you may just end up hating snowboarding.
No matter how good he is, he has ridden like 5 boards in his life and has his biases. He may tell you that Burton sucks, or Jones rocks, or Bataleon is too sloppy, or that he bought a board from that one brand and it got destroyed in 2 weeks. He is likely to fall in the usual trap of extrapolating your own experience while not being familiar with the whole market, the science behind the boards, the nuances of getting a good fit for someone different than him.
We want to spare you this pain and get you on the mountain ASAP
No BS, no biased opinions, no fanboyism, no lazy lists that point you to the store, but do not explain anything, no overwhelming you with theory, only the bare minimum to make an educated decision for yourself